Poison Apple

It’s day twelve of the rewrites. If this post had a subtitle it would have to be “Whoah, easy there, Ozymandias!”


I do not like where this writing exercise is going. It’s as if I’m still performing while writing for myself, getting all pretentious. Why am I taking a stab at writing about “deep” topics I have no business writing about? Seeing myself dare is entertaining, I give myself that. But at some point one has to regroup. Avoid falling into some sunk-cost reasoning. Because I started pulling some thread it does not mean I have no choice but not to stop.

There is no shame in changing one’s mind. One could be more serious with digressions than with where one started. This is especially true if there was no initial intent. In fact, most likely there wasn’t, as most people apply intent after the fact anyway to things that seem to work. Here I see the thread of agency and free will dangling and very tempting to pull, but not now.

I’m collecting training data. That’s it. That’s the retroactive explanation for what I’m doing. I’m practicing the ability to produce words lest I forget. Having brain muscles attuned more to consumption is bothersome. Or this is an exercise of conscious thinking. Or this is a distraction. Yet if one would pay attention to the inherent randomness of life, what isn’t? At least the opportunity cost is less than half an hour and the sense of satisfaction after is instant.

After all, it turns out I’m able to say a whole lot of nothing with so many words. I heretofore declare, that’s good for me.

Enough for today.


Total number of entries so far minus twice the number rewritten gives how much more to rewrite. (31+5)-2*12. Is this true? Am I only halfway? Also, I’m halfway! Half empty, half full. Tomato, tomato.

Some things I noticed 02/05/2020:
  1. happy birthday sir despite the circumstances
  2. 100 prisoners problem via math twitter
  3. “Europeans initially believed tomatoes to be poisonous.”
  4. I actually also did snack on a tomato today.

Stella

It’s day 8 of the rewrites. This one is downright embarrassing to read. I’m naming concepts now? The balls.


I said I would link the idea of having different selves each day to writing as self-reflection. Instead, yesterday I wrote about Naruto, Dragon Ball, and Bill Gates.

If we are to consider a No answer to whether the ship of Theseus is the same ship, we could say the following. The intended audience of those who write as self-reflection are their future selves. The written artifacts will then serve as markers with which to compare future values. If the written artifacts disgust the future self, it shows progress. If instead the future self admires what one wrote, it shows otherwise.

Let’s introduce the reverse of this concept which we’ll call writing as self-projection. Consider the written material as something a future self would write as self-reflection. Let the current self write it as though acquired through divination. Treat the material as though sent from the future. And then hold future selves accountable to make the writing actually such.

It’s a stupid idea. I am already disgusted by it I am not even finished writing it yet. This entry is already too long. So I’d reserve my violent reactions unless something else comes up.

Enough for today.


Because I’m rewriting everything I missed the chance to do a monthly recap. I blame the decision to not edit what I wrote in the first place. On second thought, there’s nothing of substance to recap so not having to do it is a good thing.

Also, how dry are the words in the world without adverbs?

Some things I noticed 02/01/2020:
  1. The Baroque Guitar (Tarzan anu nah?)
  2. Greta’s classmate alone in group presentation
  3. Le Festin, Vincent, When She Loved Me
  4. The Good Place finale. Perfect.
  5. Very kind prank.
  6. doubleplusgood at preventing thoughtcrime